The Mirror Chamber

The art of reflecting their best self.

By Norman Lindsay (Australian; 1879 - 1969)

One of the key “weapons” or arts mastered in the courtesan’s repertoire was the art of reflecting or mirroring another’s best qualities. This art allowed her to see the “hidden light” in every individual she encounters and learn how to bring it out from the recesses of the night. They are enchanted by the courtesan because they are enchanted by their own light. Doing so, she subtly guides and leads the interaction.

From a more mundane perspective, this can mean that every superficial interaction is pleasant as you are only ever in communion with the best parts of the person. From a more alchemical perspective, this can summon a person towards fully embodying the light that until that point was hiding in the shadows. The alchemical process may not always be a pleasant one but it is ultimately beneficial.

Women unconsciously reflect and mirror people and humanity — this is among the reasons why female form and women stir so many reactions, discussions and debates. Most of us do not like the reflection in the mirror, and for that reason, we may not like what the feminine (individually or collectively) shows to us. When the reflection is unfavourable, unless we are strong internally, we seek to run away — or to veil the reflector. The key to feminine power is actively moving or mastering those aspects of reality that a woman unconsciously “governs”. I always mention but it ought be repeated — this is not egoic power or control, but the power of life.

Still, when unconscious, a woman can become a victim of her own power — like a serpent that eats its own tail, she has the power but does not know how to move it and direct it, so it turns against her. As we can observe in our experience and as we had previously stated, women often unconsciously govern the “reflective” aspect of reality, which means that one of the roads towards power for a woman is in gaining mastery over this, not running away from it.

Conscious and active reflecting demands of woman an ability to correctly and astutely observe reality and others. The reflection cannot be rooted in fantasy but in the lived reality of the other. This brings us to a paradox — to truly see the other is to accept them as they are, but to reflect their best selves, is to reflect and nourish often what is the not a fully formed and actualised potential (it is often something that they themselves cannot see). However, any potential can only be “birthed” from what is now and present.

In a woman, this clarity and astute perception is not created through the “Daylight Sun” — penetrating, projecting and “lighting up the darkness”. Her perception comes from what we may call the “Midnight Sun” — from observing the light of another and creating within yourself space for it. Instead of cultivating fullness, what woman cultivates is emptiness or space. Emptiness here does not mean being depressed or anything such, but having a lot of internal space. This translates into an ability to constantly create and generate space — you become expansive and vast, capable of holding and giving form to all potential.

The crucial element of this power is to not become a projection — if you are unconscious, then you will absorb and mirror projections of others. It will make you feel victimised. You will also not be able to know who you are when you relate to others. In short, there is no differentiation between you and the other. This too is helped by knowing how to create space — space creates distance and through that distance you can clearly see both yourself and the other.

A strong sense of self and knowing who you are, very strict boundaries that you will not allow to be crossed while also holding space for another is where this fine balance lies.

A danger that can come from reflecting someone’s light or best self can be that they may become extremely attached or even addicted to you. If you are the first, or perhaps the only person through who they can experience their own light and see their “best potentials” and if it is only through you that they can access parts of themselves, you will become a vital necessity for them. This is because part of their own selves (that they refuse to “own” or “take back” since they do not recognise it as theirs yet) is accessible to them only through you. This is why you have to have strict boundaries and be capable of separating when needed.

Today, I shall give you some steps and methods that can help you learn how to do this. It can be applied to all relationships, not only those with men.