The Art of Flirtation

For when you are bored or when you need to bind someone with your charms.

By Henry Patrick Raleigh (American; 1880 - 1944)

In general culture, flirtation is often taken as a means to an end — a set of gestures or acts that are to accomplish the desired relational outcome. But just as utilitarian cannot be a lover, the utilitarian can neither know the true essence of flirtation — which is more than pursuit of an outcome, even if the outcome happens to come. Flirtation, done freely and openly, even with strangers, is an act of generosity and tenderness towards both self and the other — an offering of a piece of sunshine on a gloomy day. An exchange for the sake of exchange and the pleasure for the sake of pleasure.

In a more serious and intimate setting, its essence is the dance between the desire and restraint — to inspire longing, move the waters of the pelvis and ignite the flames of the loins, yet without the compulsion to indulge. Why just swallow the sugar cube when it can slowly melt in the mouth? In my previous articles, I spoke of how important the art of cultivating and creating space is for a woman; and to be a masterful flirt, you simply create space for the other to enter. This space while being empty, should for the other person, hold the promise of themselves and their realisation. It should hold the scents, the subtle stimuli that appeal to the other — sentences without a full stop that they get to complete, “emptinesses” in sentences and gestures that they get to fill in with their own imagination, their own flavour and input.