Learning to Trust Men & The Masculine
Trust as a foundation for fulfilling relationships.
If you come from a place that still believes in and practices magic and sorcery, you will know that the most common spell or magic asked for and made, is a love spell or love magic. Both men and women ask for these to be done. Love spells and magic are more popular than those for money, career or children. If you ever looked into content and nature of love spells, you’d also come to know why they say that “All is fair in love and war”, because a person may request a spell that creates an absolute obsession and binding of their object of affection; if one’s object of affection happens to be in a relationship or even married, the lover may ask for a break up or a divorce spell and many other things that we may consider wrong or immoral.
Romantic relationships holding such potent power over our minds, speaks of how deep our desire to connect to another is. We may develop discourse or narratives about how it is social programming or this or that, but it doesn’t change the fact that it occupies much of our mind. Even when we, out of disappointment, withdraw from the pursuit, it is because the disappointment has injured our trust in the other. Perhaps we secretly hope for someone to prove us wrong. Many of us complain but very few become monks or nuns.
The article today is inspired by questions and suggestions of my readers. A lot of women come to tell me that the heart of their issues with men is simply their inability to trust men. They often trust a man’s love and generosity less than they’d trust his cruelty or mistreatment — if the internal narrative is: “Men mistreat me and betray me”, then a cruel man who mistreats a woman would be convenient, as he is a confirmation of her subconscious expectation. It also makes it impossible to trust a man’s kindness or love because the fear will identify it as a manipulation or a trap. This doesn’t mean that some men can’t use kindness or love to manipulate, but if you do not have a baseline trust, openness and confidence, you will struggle to identify which one is genuine and which one isn’t.