A Soirée to Remember

Hosting with style and substance.

Sophia Loren for her “Eat With Me” Cookbook. 1971 by Rizzoli Editore, Milano (Italy).

The holiday season is upon us and with it, the suppers and the gatherings. Many of us will likely have a chance to organise or host something for our acquaintances, friends or family and may desire to leave a meaningful and impression on those who leave our space.

Many cultures consider the role of a host important not only for its purely concrete aspect, but also for the fact that there is a spiritual, some may even say a karmic bond, between you and anyone who is welcoming you in their space and preparing food for you. This is why the basic etiquette for the interaction between the host and the guest often encourages the generosity, lavishness and magnanimity from the host and appreciation and gratitude from the guest. In some cultures there is a superstition that speaking ill of the host brings bad luck and curses (to the ill-speaking person).

Hosting approached as an art is much more than a simple “to do” list but an intricate cultivation and curation of atmosphere and feeling that requires internal abundance and sophistication, but also an ability and skill to externalise it.

The symbol of the hearth carries ancient and sacred connotations for us, and food is at the very heart of all our communions. At the centre of the hearth is the sacred flame, or simply said, warmth. There is a reason why most of our festivities occur either during the winter or at night (a symbolic winter) — it is because when the external heat and light begin to wane, the internal ones begin to wax. The opening scene in Merchant Ivory’s “Howards End” (1992) contrasts the external coldness with the warmth that comes from inside the house (as the Wikipedia article on the cinematic duo says: “The main theme often surrounded a house, which took on a particular importance in many Merchant Ivory films.”)

Taking these symbolic and subtle realities into consideration, we can say that the role of the hostess isn’t simply to satiate and entertain, but to create a rich and abundant inner world that nourishes, invigorates, inspires and lights up the nights of all of those participating in the microcosm made by her.

Today’s article will give simple ideas, advice and guide on how to develop and refine your own hosting skills. To accompany this article, perhaps you also want to take a look at the other articles that can help you in this department: The Art of Conversation and The Mystic Archetype.