Beauty is something that occupies much of our thoughts and consciousness — if we ask most women, the most will admit wishing to be beautiful, and if we ask most men, the most will admit on wanting to gaze at or interact with that which is beautiful. None of these impulses are wrong as they both express subtle, even metaphysical realities. Beauty is, according to certain metaphysical traditions one of the transcendentals (the other two being the Good and the True), and it is the only one among the transcendentals that desires to be manifest in the world, while the other two seek to move us upwards. This suggests that Beauty is how Good and True come to be manifest in the world. Our desire and love of Beauty, is in short, our desire for the Divine, for something beyond the often mundane and harsh daily life. I write of the metaphysical dimension more on my website, particularly this article.
However, much of our cultural conversations around Beauty, remove Beauty from the depths that it is connected to, and so reduce Beauty to nothing more but a neurotic pursuit for perfection. Instead of being something that permeates our very essence, Beauty then becomes a mere alteration and modification of surfaces. When separate from these more subtle, deeper aspects, Beauty in fact can become quite dry — a “picture perfect” perfection that does not emanate or radiate with life. It is like the eyes of a beautiful colour that yet speak or express nothing.
Others, consumed with internal imbalances, when encountering someone beautiful (a man or a woman) may instead of approaching the beauty with reverence and respect, simply find themselves trapped in an impulse to consume, destroy or defile that beauty. Beauty inspires in us a desire to unite with it and so we often run towards it without any awareness and clarity. Instead of distancing from the defiling impulse by taking a pause to contemplate, and with that come to recognise that this Beauty that we perceive is not something separate from us but is rather the very part of our perception and consciousness, we come to forget this truth, and enter a separate state of consciousness that plunges us into fear, neurosis, anger, control, paranoia and everything else that may cause us internal disturbance. If we are conscious, these internal disturbances can become the very gate that lead us to expansion, because there where we are the most disturbed is where our “keys” to the gate are.
The popular social and cultural framework also frames Beauty, particularly among women, as something competitive. And so it reduces Beauty to something that is used as a means of hunting for attention of men. Or attention in general. To want attention and especially to be perceived, is an impulse and desire for many women (A friend once wrote: “A woman, at least the one that you should want, desires to be known, just as a man desires to know. It is important so pay attention to her, not just what she says, but more importantly what she means.”) and in that aspect, she has the sacred function as Sophia or Wisdom or the Book and the Tablet who contains all the Knowledge yet cannot “see it”, so she seeks to be perceived and seen in order to know herself. However, this natural and neutral desire to be perceived, lacking wisdom and knowledge, easily transforms into mindless hunt for attention, where any attention, no matter how banal or worthless, is taken. When so, a woman does not attract a man of Creative Intellect who can correctly perceive her and see her, but rather she may attract a man trapped in his own complexes, who instead of seeing her and moving her organically, will artificially attempt to mould her into his distorted image of how she should be. This can be very draining, since a woman becomes a kind of vampire, needing constant external validation to sustain her. It can also easily become dangerous as it can lead her to interact with men who do not care for her and seek to vampirise as well. Such unstable men will only confuse her even more.
Feeling threatened by other women and their Beauty, competing with them or anything similar, actually, distances a woman from her own Beauty and Beauty as a whole. This is because we can feel threatened only by that which we deem separate or distant from ourselves. But if we can see and find our own Beauty and appreciate it, then competition and threats simply disappear. When devoted to Beauty, we come to see that every flower and every colour has its unique and irreplaceable Beauty. The most majestic of roses and peonies are beautiful, but so are unassuming and delicate lilies or daisies. The world can only get poorer and less beautiful without daisies or roses, not more. The jealous and envious woman, failing to recognise her own flower and colour, begins to wage war against every flower and colour. In doing so, she denies the world both her flower and the flower of another woman. This is why I often mention that even to perceive ugliness is a flaw within our perception, because that means that it is a part of you — that which is ugly should not even catch your consciousness, let alone have power to move you.
Beauty is not a means to anything, Beauty is its own essence, a revelation, and it is not something to be sold or used as a bid. To want to attract a partner or anything such is fine, and being attractive can be a part of that, however, being attractive and being beautiful, while often having certain touching points, do not always have to be one and the same. What is deemed attractive can often be a part of social, cultural and historical influences, however what is beautiful doesn’t change — the Beauty of a flower isn’t part of cultural or social trends, their Beauty is given, it is their very essence.
This is slightly different than my other articles which focus more on cultivating skills and arts, however, this attitude towards Beauty, even if it seems spiritual, is actually very practical. If you adopt a devotional attitude towards Beauty, you will come to see it grow around you, until everything ugly is simply removed from your life. I will as usual, give some tips and techniques, inspired by my own life and experience on how you can express devotion towards Beauty in your daily life.
Notice What is Beautiful On You - Very often, our default is seeking for flaws. Many of us women learned this “tradition” from our mothers. Some mothers were very critical directly — always commenting on our bodies and our appearance. Others however, may not have been directly critical towards us, but she may have been so towards herself. We saw and heard our mother constantly speak ill of her body, of her face, of her hair, of everything about herself and we as little girls came to internalise this negative and harsh attitude towards our bodies and appearances. And towards women as a whole. This is why it can be good to start to change that, and instead of constantly looking for flaws, begin looking for what you like. Even if it is difficult for you, begin with small — the colour of your eyes, your hair, your skin. Be genuine and honest. It is important not to go into other extreme of simply validating ourselves even if we have come to be destructive towards ourselves (letting ourselves go, not taking care of ourselves and generally treating our bodies with lack of care). The point is to take care of yourself, while also living your life fearlessly and organically, and to make effort to recognise more often that which is beautiful rather than that which you perceive as flawed. Over time, you may even come to find your flaws as beautiful — especially in the era of “AI generated looks” and “Instagram faces” a little imperfection may be an indication that one is very much a human and not a bot.
Accept Your Form - Our physical form often carries the rawest truths about who we are. It is the sum total of our ancestry and heritage, of the things we consume and of the habits we engage with. In that aspect, it can be very humbling towards our ego that always seeks to escape the simple truth of our roots — like a child to who everyone but their own parents and family home are perfect and good. The impulse to escape our “birth conditions” is our desire to expand, however, we do not expand running away from the roots but coming to be firm in them, that is when our tree can grow and expand. Apply this to your physical form. Different women will have different natural forms — some will be naturally leaner and thinner, other naturally curvier and more voluptuous, some will be naturally dainty and gentle, others taller or broad or stronger or anything else. The point is to fully accept your natural form and to cultivate that to the most beautiful of its expression rather than constantly seeking to be something else. Your natural form has subtle energies that when embraced will “sing their love call”, and that is also how you will attract the male partner that is correct for you, if that is what you want. This is because your form and subtle energetic constitution will naturally balance his own. When we artificially try to mould ourselves into something we are not, we risk polluting the “messages” and so can attract a wrong partner. Remember, whenever you deceive someone else, you are also deceiving yourself. Truth is freeing for both of you.
Notice and Venerate Beauty in Others - When you see a beautiful person, be it a man or a woman, instead of getting angry or seeking to punish it for “pulling” on you, express gratitude for experiencing that Beauty and bless the person who provided you the experience. This Beauty doesn’t have to be just physical — it can be their personality or their character, it can be the way they talk or express themselves, it can be that their intellect and thoughts are beautiful cultivated, it can be the beautiful art or content that they create or anything else. Whichever it is, simply venerate it. There is no need to ask of it to do anything for you, the fact that you experienced something beautiful should be enough and you should seek to venerate Beauty without seeking to get something out of it. If you fully immerse yourself in that veneration and pure enjoyment, you will actually come to see that the Beauty has already given you everything.
Make Everything Around You More Beautiful - In everything you do, no matter how small, try to make it beautiful. From the cups that you have your coffee from to your clothes. Wear beautiful clothes or apply perfume even if you will be alone, try to see Beauty as life itself and not something performative for the audience. Fill your room with beautiful scents, colours and textures that you love. Make the food that you eat beautiful and decorate it beautifully. Simply, have Beauty be the very essence of how you live and exist. Buy things not simply because you saw them on TikTok or Instagram, but because you truly find it beautiful and worthy of your investment and time. I have previously written on “How To Cultivate the Signature Taste” which can easily connect to this topic.
This is all for this Friday, I hope that you enjoyed it and found it valuable. Feel free to join the conversation. This article is available for everyone to read, while the paid subscribers also get the read-aloud they can listen to. The paid subscribers now also have access to the Volupta Library — full of resources on beauty, relationships, glamour, wellbeing and spirituality that are constantly updated:
With Love and to the life full of Beauty
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