He will give you the harlot Shamhat, take her with you.
The woman will overcome the fellow!
As if she were strong.
When the animals are drinking at the watering place,
Have her take off her robe and expose her sex.
When he sees her he will draw near to her
And his animals, who grew up in his wilderness, will be alien to him."
[...] He Enkidu, the offspring of the mountains,
who eats grasses with the gazelles,
came to drink at the watering hole with the animals,
with the wild beasts he slaked his thirst with water.
Then Shamhat saw him - a primitive, a savage fellow
From the depths of the wilderness! '
That is he, Shamhat! Release your clenched arms,
Expose your sex so he can take in your voluptuousness.
Do not be restrained - take his energy!
When he sees you he will draw near to you.
Spread out your robe so he can lie upon you,
and perform for this primitive the task of womankind!
His animals who grew up in his wilderness,
Will become alien to him, and his lust will groan over you.
- Tablet I from the Epic of Gilgamesh (Translated by Maureen Gallery Kovacs)
This excerpt from the Epic of Gilgamesh describes the scene in which the priestess of the Goddess goes into the wilderness in order to conquer the wild man Enkidu. His beastly nature, symbolic for him still existing only within the domain of instinct and impulse, is exemplified by his ability talk and eat with animals. It was said that he could “become like a god” (“You are beautiful. Enkidu you have become like a god”, she tells him later), and be initiated into the world of kings & civilisation through Shamhat’s strategic incitement of his lust and the eventual consumption of his energy. The text calls the ritual “the task of womankind.”
Shamhat goes into the wilderness and exposes herself in her full voluptuousness — since Enkidu was beastly, he was surely to be overcome by his instinctual nature and give in to the lust.
He lies upon her for days, his primitive virility seemingly endless, and yet Shamhat is said to not restrain him but rather to take in everything he pours at her. At the end of the ritual, the Enkidu was transformed — the animals of the wilderness ran away from him, he could no longer speak to the beast and he was to be taken to the city. He was initiated into the realm of Humanity.
Many women have a negative response when a man approaches her with lust. Sometimes the response negative even if he approaches her with pure desire. I usually differentiate between lust and desire. Lust is an urge to release a tension. It is suffering (tension) caused by not knowing how to direct and cool down an abundant and heated energy. Lust then manifests as a consuming need to have another carry its image and be the object of release. Desire is a pull to merge with something, to create something from an interaction — it is creative and interactive. Lust is selfish, hence the instinctual rejection of it by women.
The negative response is understandable given the fact that a man’s lust can often carry debauched imagery and expectations. Woman feels herself as the receiver of his expectations and projections, and so, she responds to it. But beyond lust itself, a lot of women feel fear from any kind of male energy directed at them. This is especially common when it involves a man’s voicing of his attraction towards her. Very often, a man will express his attraction to a woman’s body, without any debauched or dehumanising implications, and the woman will feel offended at his voicing of this, assuming that just because he feels moved, inspired or aroused by her physical form, that he is reducing her to just that and is incapable of seeing her other qualities like her intellect or her passions.
Beyond subtly confessing that she considers herself separate from her body, and that her form, for her, isn’t “truly her”, which itself is a very harmful position for a woman to hold, in rejecting a man’s attraction to her body and beauty, she also rejects his virility, and with it, him as a man. A man may then feel shamed for being who he is, or persecuted for being moved by beauty, and then direct his energy elsewhere — into pornography or other women who are less restrictive in this domain. This does not mean we have to justify any behaviour; this is to simply give us an understanding as to why it may happen.
Man’s initiation into his virility occurs when he sees the form of a woman who pulls him. From this follows that the woman’s form, or more precisely, a woman’s physical body, is his first and foundational attachment to a woman. To reject this and to deny this, is to encourage him (and yourself) to indulge a fantasy. Indulging in a fantasy invites for a rude awakening, so it is better to avoid it.
This is a difficult and sensitive topic, but, I will try to give you a few tips and techniques that will help you in being less insulted (and afraid) by his lust, desire and virility. The tips and techniques will also teach you how to help him direct his own energy into higher, subtle spheres, just like Shamhat taught Enkidu.
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